I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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