he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize