I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
