I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
