If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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