When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
