Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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