I just made out with a guy for $7.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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