He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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