Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
