That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
