When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You have to summon your inner elephant
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
