I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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