cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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