I'll bet she douches with gravy.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize