Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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