woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
