I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
