Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I touched a dick in church today
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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