at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
