Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
