i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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