"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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