We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
