So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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