I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
