its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
