I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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