i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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