are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
handjob tips. give me some.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
