One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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