You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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