i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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