I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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