her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
