it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
