Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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