let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
God I need to hump something, right now.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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