did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Is it because I queefed?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
