When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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