I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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