Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
