Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
