is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
