And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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