What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
