i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize