have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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