At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
