It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
