that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
