wakey wakey hands off snakey
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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