i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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