from now on my penis is your penis
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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