I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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