You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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