so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Randomize
