Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
