You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
