your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
