i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
