My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize