It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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