you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
