I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You dont lie about slip and slides
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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